420 ftw
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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