Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How's work?
Spinning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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