Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
