Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have fence marks all over my body
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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