i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize