my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
