apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
