she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
