So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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