I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
