which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
