Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
