I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
