Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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