my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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