So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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