drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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