you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
