I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
