8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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