we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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