I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize