The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
