She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
