She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
only you would photoshop your dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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