he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
