Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize