So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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