i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
