He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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