She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize