I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
