what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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