Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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