tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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