we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
