Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
