Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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