things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
