how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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