How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
