Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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