The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
one two three fourrrrnication!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
