Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
