if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
