just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
