His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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