Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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