I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
