i just had sex bonerless
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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