Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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