goodnight i made you a song goodbye
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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