I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize