Kareoke will never be a sober sport
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
