so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
