I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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